What we do · Social capacity building

Making and keeping friends.

Making and keeping friends is one of our three focus areas, and it runs through every stage of life.

What it is
Who it's forAutistic and neurodivergent people who want friendships, and the people who support them
What it achievesFriends, and a social life that carries on without us
How it worksWe teach the skills friendship runs on, and train a parent or social coach to practise them where friendship actually happens
StagesEvery stage, from before school into adulthood

What we believe

We believe somebody you only see at a scheduled activity is a co-participant, not a friend.

The usual view

Most providers believe that putting people with a shared interest in a room together produces friendship, and that the shared interest does the work.

What is actually happening

But in reality, somebody you only ever see at a scheduled activity isn't a friend. They're a co-participant. A friend is somebody with a mutual regard and a mutual commitment who you see voluntarily, outside the structure, and a shared interest doesn't produce that on its own. What it produces is attendance. The things friendship actually runs on are regulation, social confidence and enough language to hold your end of a conversation, and none of those arrive by proximity.

What we do instead

That's why we teach the skills directly, at every stage, and train the people who are there when friendship happens to coach them during the week. Our online clubs build the things that come before friendship. Our structured programs teach the skills themselves, from shared play before school to dating after it. And we measure what changed in the person, not how many sessions they attended.

What changes

From being near other people, to being friends with them.

OftenFriendship left to proximity and a shared interestWhat changesThe skills taught directly: joining in, trading information, handling teasing, and hosting a get-together that goes well
OftenAdvice from adults that doesn't match how peers actually behaveWhat changesThe rules that really apply at that age, with the choice of what to use left to the person
OftenSkills that only appear in front of the person who taught themWhat changesA parent or social coach trained to practise them during the week, where they count
OftenAttendance counted as progressWhat changesChange measured in the person, before and after
OftenWaiting for confidence to arrive firstWhat changesConfidence that comes from knowing what to do
OftenA group that has to be tolerated before anything can be learnedWhat changesComfort in a group built first, so a structured program is worth doing

Straight answers

What we will tell you honestly.

Friendship is a choice.

If somebody doesn't want more friends, that is an answer, and we take it at face value. We don't talk anyone into it. There is usually still something useful to do, like planning the next big change or working out what kind of work might suit.

Our clubs are the start, not the answer.

Online gaming clubs build comfort in a group, teamwork and the regulation to stay in the room. For a lot of people that is what makes a structured program possible later. We say plainly that it comes first, rather than presenting it as friendship.

Social skills is not the same as masking.

We teach what actually works among people that age, and leave the person to choose whether to use it. What we add is options they were never shown. We never describe what we do as helping somebody fit in.

Take the first step

Let's talk about what's happening.

Request a call back and one of our team will ring you at a time that suits. It takes about fifteen minutes, it's free, and you don't need anything worked out before we speak.